Have you ever been filled with so much joy that you feel like you’re overflowing?

I wake up with a smile on my face saying, “Thank you God for this wonderful day!”

I look at my loving husband and my beautiful daughters and I am so happy because God has blessed me so much.

I feel at peace with myself and with everyone in my life.

I see beauty and miracle in everything around me.

What has changed?

One thing I know for sure: it’s an amazing feeling when we are filled with so much gratitude in our lives.

Gratitude transforms you. It lifts you up. It blesses you in so many ways beyond your imagination.

Life takes on a whole new meaning and rises above a whole new level when you are always thankful. It’s like celebrating Christmas everyday.

I have received so many gifts that have put a smile on my face. But the best gift I will always be thankful for, the gift I will always treasure beyond compare is my family.

They are God’s love in human form.

This Christmas, let us be thankful because God has already given us the greatest gift He could ever give: the perfection of his love, Jesus.

Photo by: Barandalla

Everything else you received today is just a bonus.

Amid all the festivities, take a moment to pray and remember to greet Him a happy birthday.

Happy holidays everyone!

Do you remember how you and you husband were like when you were still just lovers? When people would criticize him or say bad things about him, you immediately come to his defense with a litany of all things good and honorable about him.

The truth is you could both be right. You’re looking at the same person with different perspectives.

But your perspective is that of love.

Some people say that love covers all flaws. But I’d like to put it this way:

Love chooses to focus on the best and celebrate goodness.

Loving someone doesn’t mean you turn completely blind to his faults. What it does mean is you act and react with more understanding and compassion.

You separate the attitude from the person and you help however you can to help him deal with his imperfections.

What do I love about my dear Kernie?

1. He’s very understanding of my quirks and my occasional weirdness.
2. He’s patient. Very, very patient.
3. He’s thoughtful. He remembers the things I love and surprises me with little gifts that make my heart jump.
4. He’s considerate. He always checks how I am and if he could, he would make things easier for me.
5. He’s encouraging. He always knows the right words to say when I feel down.
6. He’s supportive. No matter what I venture into, he’s always right behind me cheering me on.
7. He’s funny. He’s corny most of the time, but he makes me laugh
8. He’s affectionate. He always showers me with hugs and kisses.
9. He’s hardworking. Sometimes more than I’d like because he stretches himself too thin. But that’s his nature.
10. He’s responsible. The best father in our world.

But more than all these, he  loves me unconditionally. He accepts me for all that I am and brings out the best in me.

Photo: bitzi

How does this photo make you feel?

I love looking at images of calm waters and beautiful landscapes. No matter where I am, I feel like I’m instantly transported to heaven.

When I feel the impending onslaught of impatience, I close my eyes and retreat to these beautiful scenes in my mind. It helps me to be peaceful and to focus on the most positive way to deal with trying situations and even small irritations.

While there are moments when marriage feels like a fantastic fairytale, there are also times when it can feel like an exasperating experience.

When things are less than perfect, when situations don’t turn out your way, when your partner behaves in a disagreeable manner, it’s easy to fall into the impulsive trap of overreacting.

How many times have you snapped at your hubby because of some itty bitty irritation?

I know I have a couple of times. And when I think about it, it would have done me a lot of good if I had only stopped for a moment before I reacted.

Irritation happens when we give in to the negative emotions of the moment. We let our impulsive emotions rule us .

We also get easily irritated when have negative thoughts. When we lose something, one of the immediate thoughts that come to mind would be “someone must have taken it.”

But when we act from a place of love, we can react differently.

Love chooses to pause, to be calm and to think of how to respond in the most loving way even during the most irritating or anger – inducing situations.

It takes conscious effort to remember that you are dealing with a lovable person who occasionally does unlovable things.

When you are confronted by challenging situations, the old adage is always a good guide to follow:

Think before you act

More than that, always ask yourself this very important question:

How do I respond in the most loving way?

This can be quite tough at first but constant practice can enable you to react calmly naturally.

“Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive… When under pressure, love doesn’t turn sour. Minor problems don’t yield major reactions.”

I have been going through this love journey on and off for the past months. And though it can be really challenging some times, I believe every hurdle I overcome makes me a better person every time.

I am continuing this journey one day at a time and it’s a very enriching experience.

Learning to love, really love is one of the most worthwhile things there is about life.

Photo by: Patrick Smith

I swept one last look around the bathroom before heading for the door.

Clear drainage: check.

Bubble – free tiles: check.

All dirty clothes in the laundry basket: check.

I took another look at the shower caddy and made sure every soap and shampoo bottle was in its rightful place.

Am I being neat freak? Not really.

Though I love a clean bathroom, I run through this routine checking carefully more because I love my hubby — it is one way I show him respect.

Let’s admit it: it becomes so easy to act sloppy when we’re so comfortable with each other. We’re confident that our partner’s unconditional love can cover all sorts of shortcomings and weaknesses including bad habits and lack of manners.

Sometimes, or maybe even most of the time, we are more conscious about how we act in public than we do in private. We’ve developed this double standard that we must always be well – mannered around other people but it’s okay to be rude when we’re around our spouse.

And I’m not just talking about rude with the words we say or don’t say, like saying “stupid” or not saying “please, thank you.”

We can be rude in other ways like leaving trash lying around, messing up clothes in the closet or worse,  passing gas around your spouse. These might seem like little things but small irritations add up and can snowball into a huge argument.

Just imagine, if you had to live with royalty or some Hollywood celebrity, would you be more careful with how you act around your home? I suppose you would because it would be embarrassing to act sloppy around these special guests.

But could anyone be more special than your spouse?

The bottom line is that genuine love minds its manners…When you allow love to change your behavior — even in the smallest of ways — you restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship.

It’s all about conscious living and loving.

When you act from a place of love,  respect comes naturally.

Photo: a.andres

I can’t stop thinking about you!

Didn’t you always say this when you were so young and in love?

Days are spent daydreaming about the object of your affection. Nights are spent wishing you can pull the hours so you can be with each other again.

When you get married, the first years have you feeling so “in love.”

You are loving, kind, patient and thoughtful to your spouse because you are “in love.”

As the years pass, you become more secure with each other.

Security can be a good thing because it assures you of that loving feeling you know you will have every day.

But the bad thing is it can cause you to become complacent.

You tend to become “thoughtless.”

You forget to be loving.

You shuffle through the days unconsciously, letting opportunities to express love pass you by.

Soon enough, thoughtless becomes careless.

You become insensitive and selfish.

You are thoughtful — of yourself.

By this time, the thrill has been replaced by familiarity and not long after, you find yourself falling “out of love.”

That’s the thing about being “in love,” it’s a fantasy feeling that fades away. And when it does, there has to be something more real and more lasting to take its place.

That is REAL LOVE.

And it’s something I’ve been trying to learn and practice everyday.

When you really love, you never stop thinking about your spouse.

You constantly think about the one you love.

You always reflect about what he needs.

You always consider how he feels.

In everything you say and do, you think about how you can show that you love him more.

During difficult times, being thoughtful means keeping silent and still, when you know that anger can cause you to say or do something that can hurt the one you love.

You strive to regain that loving feeling before your speak or act again because:

The thoughtful nature of love teaches you to engage your mind before engaging your lips. Love thinks before speaking. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.

I’ve been learning how to demonstrate love more than to say it.

Because by doing it, I understand completely what it means.

***

Love is always a choice.

And I choose to love you…

Every moment of every day for the rest of my life.

—

Photo by: flouak

Selfishness is the root of all heartache.

I should know.

I used to be selfish.

Sometimes, I still am.

How about you?

Me, myself and I

I used to think that after I’ve given everything I got then it was just right that I take my turn to get.

I thought…

I want to do things that make ME happy.

I want to do things for MYSELF.

I want to do whatever I want.

It was all ME, MYSELF and I.

In the end, I realized selfishness can never be justified because true love is never selfish.

YES

True love always gives.

True love never computes how much has been given or received in return.

When you truly love, generosity comes naturally and freely.

One of the most important shifts I’ve made in my understanding of love and relationships was sparked by these quotes from Love Dare:

True love looks for ways to say YES.

You say NO to what you WANT, so you can say YES to what (your spouse) NEEDS.

Recently, my selfishness was tested once again.

I wanted to stand my ground thinking that I didn’t owe anything to anybody.

My ego was screaming “NO!!!”

But by God’s grace, I learned to humble myself.

And like a gentle reminder from Him, I found myself repeating that quote over and over:

True love looks for ways to say yes.

I honored a very tough request that I knew was important to the one I loved.

I got rejected in return but I let the hurt go.

I know God touches hearts way more powerfully than anyone ever could.

He likes working in miracles like that.

Just as He works miracles to heal my selfish heart and to make it more loving.

***

This is supposed to be a 40-day journey to love but the lessons are more challenging than I thought.

It takes me more than a day to fully “understand” the lessons I am learning and a couple more days to really practice it.

But I find that it has added a much deeper meaning to my life.

If you ever feel like you’re lost and you need a sense of direction, take on this worthy challenge:

Learn to live love.

Photo: peterastn

Marriage thrives on kindness.

Kindness is one of those qualities that is easy to define and easy to take for granted.

Are you kind?

Oftentimes, when you’ve been in a relationship for so long, there is a tendency to overlook kindness.

You are not as careful about what you say or do because you’ve grown accustomed to your partner.

You become complacent and think, “It’s okay, he loves me anyway.”

This is a very dangerous trap to fall into because when you lack kindness, you shift into selfishness which breeds all manner of hurtful things and experiences.

How then do you demonstrate kindness?

You are careful with your words. No matter what you need to say, you make sure by all means that you are gentle with your loved one’s feelings.

You are helpful. You always try to find out what your partner needs and you fill it.

You are willing to compromise. You keep in mind that a marriage is like a team, you always strive to be in a situation that is win – win.

You are loving first. You simply do things for your partner out of love without any conditions or expectations that your kindness will be returned.

Perhaps the most challenging part is being rejected despite your act of kindness.

But when you truly love, you learn how to give love freely and selflessly.

Because love in its truest sense is not based on feelings.  Rather love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward.

When you commit yourself to love another, you choose to do all that it takes every moment of every day to keep that love alive.

What does it truly mean to be patient?

I have always thought that I am a patient person.

I am able to keep my temper under control and I deal with negativity in the most positive way I can.

But crisis teaches you a lot of things about life and most importantly, about yourself.

I learned that love and patience takes infinitely more than that.

Patience is compassion.

Instead of demanding or begging for things to be okay, it helps you to feel another person’s pain and understand what they are going through.

It helps you to be forgiving of other people who judge you.

Patience moves you to understand the frailty that comes with being human.

It understands that everyone fails.
When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it.
It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under pressure.

In the end, love and patience  is a demonstration of faith that healing will take its course and everything will be alright in His perfect time.

Do you know what true love really means?

I always thought I did but I realized that knowing how to love is much easier than actually doing it.

True love takes more than saying “I love you,” doing kind things or feeling thrilled about one another.

The personal challenges I have been going through are teaching me that love is a daily decision –  a conscious choice every moment of your life to be loving, to be patient and to be kind among other things.

It is not the easiest thing to do especially when pain and pride get in the way.

But God has taught me so many times that a heart that loves must be filled with humility.

I realized that God allowed me to have this  challenging life situation to teach me the most important thing I could ever learn: to love unconditionally.

Today I am beginning my 40-day love journey.

I am learning NOT to follow my heart.

I am learning how to lead it.