I dashed inside the the comfort room desperate for the hand dryer.
My hands were frozen stiff because of the extreme cold in our office. The hand dryer was my only hope for relief.
Just then, another girl entered through the door and slipped inside the first cubicle.
A few minutes later, I could hear her stifled sobs.
I tried to ignore her and just concentrate on defrosting my hands.
But a couple more minutes passed and she still hasn’t stopped sobbing.
I was tempted to knock on her door, hand her a tissue and comfort her.
But I held back and headed for the door.
Just yesterday, I was in that cubicle too, having a good cry.
I guess all of us need time to cry alone.
Cry
I used to hold back my emotions because I saw crying as a sign of weakness.
But I learned that sometimes it’s okay to cry because it helps hasten the healing of heartache.
I think it’s okay to feel sorry for yourself, wallow in your self-pity, and wail “Poor me! Poor me!”
At least for a day.
Then get over it.
How do you heal a heartache?
No one is going to come down from heaven and tell you, “it’s okay, it’s time for you to heal now.”
No one can save you from pain.
It is up to you to choose to save yourself.
1. Take responsibility for your life. No matter what other people do or say to you, it is still your choice on how you would react. If you are broken, its because you chose to break yourself.
2. Make a conscious effort to heal. Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Stay away from people who feed your ego and self-pity.
3. Accept the past for what it is. If you continue to dwell in the past, think of the past, and talk about the past, what do you gain?
Unnecessary self-inflicted pain.
There’s no use trying to change the past or looking forward to a happier future.
The only thing you have is now.
The only thing you can change is now.
If you want to be happy, choose to be happy now.
Choose
Remember that it is always your choice.
There is nothing scientific or superhuman about it.
You simply make a choice.
If you continue to suffer, it’s not because you CAN’T heal.
It’s because you DON’T WANT to heal.
Because if you really wanted to, you can do it right now.
That’s a weird thing about adults.
Somehow, we get a certain kick out of being depressed and hurt.
As Eckhart Tolle would say, it’s the “pain body,” it’s the ego who needs pain to feel alive.
Life seems much more interesting when you’re suffering some kind of heartache.
That’s why there are a host of angsty songs that make you cry and feel even more miserable.
But when you think about it, you can simply make a choice.
Just take a cue from the kids. They are much more emotionally mature than we think we are.
They forget easily, they forgive wholeheartedly, they laugh heartily, and they always, always choose to love freely.
***
Time for you to listen to your own advice.
Photo credit: Wolfsoul
I’m Jayme and this blog is about creating the life you want through journaling, creative visualization and the Law of Attraction. Thank you for stopping by. If you feel inspired, feel free to leave a comment or 
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi jayme,
I’m quite a sadist, I listen to songs about heartbreak over an over again for several days until there is no more pain…trying to get my feelings numb. i especially like the song “bakit iniwan pa” by freestyle.
I have been in many relationships and this is the first time I fell in love. I never saw myself without her. We had plans to watch our lemon tree grow older as we did and she planned a hike for us when I turn 84 and she turns 80 to celebrate our strength in loving eachother for so long. We bought a specific house to raise our family. She even got her first puppy. We were together for 2.5 years. There was no cheating or mistreating. Sometime a year ago we became stale and it was so heavy to be around eachother. We became very dependant and spent all our time together. Now I lost her, I “see” how to manage my future relationship differently. So to pass some insight on my experience… give your partner space. Allow them to be connected to who they are… this is who you fell in love with! I continue to miss her so much that I find myself so close to crying because of the emptiness I feel inside but like the article above which reminded me today – I cannot change the past, and I cannot predict the future but I can try to be happy. If I keep trying to be happy even though the grief is so tremendous I will rise above. I know it’s easier said than done but it can be done if you find your inner strength and just do it. You wont always feel strong but eventually “with time” it get a little easier each time. Find yourself again…
jaymee you’re simply a genius..i adore your writing..it knocks a whole lot of sense on the way i think, i feel and see things..kudos to you..you dont have any idea how much you help complete strangers through your explicit writing..keep them coming.. God Bless!