I took him for granted.
I hurt him a lot of times.
Traded him for other people and things I thought made me happy.
He tried to make me feel he loves me so much, but I was too selfish to even see.
Then my mistakes caught up on me.
I ended up hurting him and hurting myself.
Now wounded and tired, I am humbled as I find my way back home.
I finally realized true love lies in him.
Now I am going back to HIM.
***
It took a painful lesson to teach me that I need God in my life.
For the past years, I lived as if I didn’t need God.
I labeled myself a non-practicing Catholic.
I never went to Mass.
I could count the few times I really prayed.
I just thought I could go on with my life just fine.
I could handle any problems that come my way.
I don’t need a God to help me.
And then it hit me.
I blindly failed a trial that tested my faith.
Instead of seeking out God, I trusted my own understanding.
I allowed myself to suffer the searing pain in my heart.
I beat myself up black and blue.
But God continued to love me.
He sent me an angel to gently push me in the right direction.
***
Yesterday, I returned to the Victory Fellowship.
It had been an emotionally draining week.
I was exhausted and I needed some place to find strength again.
In the midst of people praising and worshiping God, I started to cry.
I felt as though God was speaking to me right there:
“I am your healer,
I am your refuge,
I am your strength.”
The reading from the Bible couldn’t have been more apt.
Because just like the loving father who welcomed the prodigal son when he came home, God welcomed me back in his home again.
It dawned on me that “his grace is greater than my sin.”
He loved the sinner and the saint in me.
And for once, I felt truly free.
I was freed from pain, anger and confusion.
And in their place, I found peace, love and compassion.
***
It took me awhile to get here, but God, here I am.
Thank you for healing my broken heart and making it whole again.
Lord, I have done everything I could do,
Now I leave it in your hands and put my faith in you.
Photo: steve
I’m Jayme and this blog is about creating the life you want through journaling, creative visualization and the Law of Attraction. Thank you for stopping by. If you feel inspired, feel free to leave a comment or 
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
oh thanks for sharing this, jayme. yeah, i can just agree. i’ve been through trials and i understand.
glad you found Him. thing is, He never lost us. makulit lang talaga tayo.
but then again, that’s what this journey is about, right? finding His will in all of this world.
hey nice layout!
that’s nice that you have gone back to him… siya lang talaga ang makakapag-alis ng kung anung qualms meron ka sa buhay mo…
Thank you for dropping by Loren.
Ris, yeah, sobrang kulit lang talaga tayo at matigas pa ang ulo. :S Kapag nasaktan na, tsaka lang matututo. But then, that’s what life is for too, to grow and to become a better human being every moment, every day.
Rach, I know now “leaning on my own understanding” is never a good thing. When doubt comes my way, I now only do one thing so I can know for sure: PRAY.
congratulations jayme! i’m glad that you realised how sufficient (and more) God’s grace is. now, jamaine and kalia could learn of it too. keep the faith.
Thank you so much Biela.
Yes, God is more than sufficient. I feel so blessed and grateful that he loves me despite my imperfections. I am keeping the faith. 
This is so awesome, Jaime! Hold on to God’s unchanging hand and to not release his faith. The favor of God is awesome! Mimi-former researcher of JSR&KMJS.
Thank you so much for dropping by my blog Mimi, and for taking time to leave a comment.
Yes, I am keeping my faith in Him. It can be challenging sometimes but I just keep praying, knowing He always hears… and answers.