Small is good. Start small.

I etched this reminder in my mind. I know I am on the right track.

Since setting my goal for this year, I’ve been working on little projects to accomplish it.

It can get quite challenging since I’ve got a real job to attend to and a family to take care of. Sometimes I get frustrated with the little progress I am making. I have to admit I tend to spend more time studying than doing which I’ve been trying to change.

The thing about frustration is it can snowball into an excuse just to give up the whole thing altogether. But no one ever succeeded by giving up.

Last Sunday, I was feeling this kind of frustration bordering on surrender. I was thinking of giving up until a realization hit me during the church service.

At one point during the sermon, the pastor stopped and told ushers to distribute mini ziplocs containing mustard seeds.

I’ve read the parable of the mustard seed over and over. But I haven’t seen a mustard seed, not even in photos. So when I finally held the bag of seeds in my palm, I was amazed. I never realized it was that tiny.

The church started small. Every big dream started small.

I knew then that the only way I can reach my goal is if I hold on to it and to take steps toward it, no matter how small.

It’s okay to start small as long as you keep going, you keep building, and you keep doing things to make it big.

Suddenly, I felt relieved and encouraged. I felt grateful for the little progress I’d been making. I saw significance in the little breakthroughs I’ve been having.

All these little things will add up and be big one day.

In time, this small mustard seed of a dream will grow into a lush tree.

Big dreams seem impossible. But if you break them down into small goals, the dream becomes something doable.

Everything becomes possible.

What’s your big dream?

“So these are the top three craziest things they did for SUJU… for the positive…”

My lunch buddies A and T were talking about fan obsessions toward this Korean boy band whom A is also a fan of. On top of the three “positive obsessions” she mentioned, she also enumerated three of the crazy bad things anti-fans did to the boy band, in detail. Yes, she really is a fan.

I was listening quietly, not being a fan of Koreans or boy bands in general. But I did have my share of “slight obsessions” so somehow I know the feeling.

The Twilight Saga was one of the first things I ever went crazy about so far as to buy all the books in the series in hardbound, the special edition journals, the soundtrack and everything else Twilight. I watched the movie twice in the theater and a couple more times in DVD. But that’s just a slight addiction compared to other hard core fans who were and continue to be far more devoted than I was.

It just dawned on me how every person has this enormous capacity to be passionate about something or someone. This sort of craziness is inborn in everyone, waiting to be triggered by the right purpose at the right time.

Imagine what could happen if you could focus that crazy passion to something you’ve always dreamed to achieve in your life.

What could happen if you could devote yourself to something so life-changing?

“What’s that one life-changing thing that you could be passionate about?” I asked A and T.

A said she has always wanted to conceptualize and create an anime series.

T said he absolutely wants to write a sci fi book.

I had to rethink what I want to focus my passion on, that coveted dream, the sought after ambition. I’m actually thinking about it right now which is strange because I used to be so sure.

But if there’s one thing I am always passionate about, it’s my husband Kernan, my daughters Jamaine and Kalia, and my family.

Everything I do now, everything I devote myself to ultimately leads back to them and my vision of giving them a happy, comfortable and affluent life.

It made me realize that if I could imbibe that obsessed, die hard, hard core, devoted kind of passion accorded to rockstars and channel it to my life’s ultimate dream then the results would be nothing short of amazing.

Definitely life-changing.

What’s the one life-defining thing that you can be passionate about?

Have you ever been filled with so much joy that you feel like you’re overflowing?

I wake up with a smile on my face saying, “Thank you God for this wonderful day!”

I look at my loving husband and my beautiful daughters and I am so happy because God has blessed me so much.

I feel at peace with myself and with everyone in my life.

I see beauty and miracle in everything around me.

What has changed?

One thing I know for sure: it’s an amazing feeling when we are filled with so much gratitude in our lives.

Gratitude transforms you. It lifts you up. It blesses you in so many ways beyond your imagination.

Life takes on a whole new meaning and rises above a whole new level when you are always thankful. It’s like celebrating Christmas everyday.

I have received so many gifts that have put a smile on my face. But the best gift I will always be thankful for, the gift I will always treasure beyond compare is my family.

They are God’s love in human form.

This Christmas, let us be thankful because God has already given us the greatest gift He could ever give: the perfection of his love, Jesus.

Photo by: Barandalla

Everything else you received today is just a bonus.

Amid all the festivities, take a moment to pray and remember to greet Him a happy birthday.

Happy holidays everyone!

I took him for granted.

I hurt him a lot of times.

Traded him for other people and things I thought made me happy.

He tried to make me feel he loves me so much, but I was too selfish to even see.

Then my mistakes caught up on me.

I ended up hurting him and hurting myself.

Now wounded and tired, I am humbled as I find my way back home.

I finally realized true love lies in him.

Now I am going back to HIM.

***

It took a painful lesson to teach me that I need God in my life.

For the past years, I lived as if I didn’t need God.

I labeled myself a non-practicing Catholic.

I never went to Mass.

I could count the few times I really prayed.

I just thought I could go on with my life just fine.

I could handle any problems that come my way.

I don’t need a God to help me.

And then it hit me.

I blindly failed a trial that tested my faith.

Instead of seeking out God, I trusted my own understanding.

I allowed myself to suffer the searing pain in my heart.

I beat myself up black and blue.

But God continued to love me.

He sent me an angel to gently push me in the right direction.

***

Yesterday, I returned to the Victory Fellowship.

It had been an emotionally draining week.

I was exhausted and I needed some place to find strength again.

In the midst of people praising and worshiping God, I started to cry.

I felt as though God was speaking to me right there:

“I am your healer,
I am your refuge,
I am your strength.”

The reading from the Bible couldn’t have been more apt.

Because just like the loving father who welcomed the prodigal son when he came home, God welcomed me back in his home again.

It dawned on me that “his grace is greater than my sin.”

He loved the sinner and the saint in me.

And for once, I felt truly free.

I was freed from pain, anger and confusion.

And in their place, I found peace, love and compassion.

***

It took me awhile to get here, but God, here I am.

Thank you for healing my broken heart and making it whole again.

Lord, I have done everything I could do,

Now I leave it in your hands and put my faith in you.

Photo: steve

Photo by: Muha

I have a confession to make: one of my greatest dreams was to become an angel.

I remember watching “City of Angels” and thinking how awesome it would be to be an angel who could be anywhere in the world in a heartbeat.

I knew then that, when I die, I’d become an angel wearing a pink and white robe guiding and inspiring people right when they need it.

I was so taken by this idea that I even wrote about it in my first ever blog post back in November 2004:

Do you know what it’s like to be an angel?

I can’t remember exactly when the idea struck me. Maybe it was my fascination with wings, the idea of flying through the clouds, being able to hear prayers and wishes, or guarding someone on earth.

I just realized my greatest dream is to become an angel.

When i told a friend about it, he said i was weird. How can you aspire to become something that you aren’t even sure exists?

I just believe.

I said i would let him know if or when i do get to fulfill that dream. But i never got the chance, he went way ahead of me.

Now i guess i don’t have to prove it to him, he already knows.

Most of the time, I forget him. I guess it’s my defense mechanism against all the pain we went through, I’m not sure if I ever really healed.

But every now and then, I try to remember if only to relive the good times and thank him again for changing my life.

Now I think, it’s not so bad when i finally go to that other place. At least I know, someone would be there to reach for my hand.

Though i have my own angel on earth, you are my angel in heaven.

This post was dedicated to a friend who did not believe in angels. But I sure hoped that despite that, he became an angel nonetheless after he died.

The angel on Earth I wrote about was my then boyfriend, now my hubby, Kernan.

We call each other Angel because we inspire and motivate each other to be the best versions of ourselves.

When our daughters were born, we also called them our angels because they moved us to be the best parents.

A lot of things have changed since that entry four years ago.

I still dream of becoming an angel but I realized I don’t need to die to make it a reality.

I’ve seen a lot of angels all around me with no white wings, flowing robes, or heavenly voices.

They just go around helping and guiding people even if they don’t know it

Are you an angel?

You probably are. You could be.

Be a helper. Extend a helping hand whenever you can, no matter how small the effort. Something that may seem so insignificant to you may mean the world to another.

Be an inspiration. Life can be a real pain sometimes, we all know that to be true. But face your struggles with courage and always focus on the good and the best. People who are having the same struggles may be inspired with your example.

Be a guide. When you do something or you know something so well, share your skill or knowledge. Giving and sharing to others won’t threaten your position or possessions. Generosity stimulates the flow of blessings that will surely come back to you.

Be a listener. Sometimes, all people need is a good listener. You don’t even need to talk or give sage advice. Just listen. Really, really focus your attention to the other person’s need and really listen.

Can you be an angel?

What is you dream life?

This is mine.

Traveling to different beaches with my laptop in tow. Just logging in every now and then on the internet to see how much millions I’ve earned for the day. Then going back to leisure traveling with my family.

But of course, that’s just for certain months of the year.

Other months, I’d be managing my self-development business, traveling all over the country to conduct seminars and workshops and shooting for my own TV show.

Dream on, the skeptics would say.

Yes, I will dream on.

And I will continue building my dream life too.

After all, we can only go as far as our mind and ambition reaches.

It’s better to dream big and aim our efforts on big things rather than settling for small dreams that seem easier and less risky to fulfill.

What would your dream life be like?

If I were given the chance to live my dream life, I would want a life that:

• allows me to pursue my passions anytime I want to.
• gives me not just financial stability but absolute abundance to satisfy both my needs and my wants.
• enables me to give away millions to help other people.
• empowers me to achieve anything I dream of.

Is it possible to live your dream life?

I believe so.

But dreaming is only the first part.

You’ve got to be doing something about it too.

And I guess that’s the hard part that often scares us away from fulfilling our dream lives and makes us stay safe and sheltered in our comfort zones.

Doing something means we would have to take risks.

And more often than not, a little voice inside us whispers: “You can’t do it. Do you want to fail? Just stick with your life/job now, that’s the practical thing to do.”

And the sad thing is, we often believe that little voice more than we believe ourselves. And it becomes harder for us to see that the dream life is indeed possible.

So how do you silence that discouraging voice?

Do something!

1. Think about what your dream life is like.
2. List down the steps you need to take to achieve your dream life.
3. Tackle the steps, one at a time.
4. When you encounter obstacles, just keep going.
5. Be willing to learn and expand your self.
6. When something doesn’t go your way, be flexible and open yourself up to the numerous possibilities.

Sounds easy to say but seems hard to do?

It all depends on your attitude toward it.

If you begin with an attitude that says “This is so hard, I don’t think I will make it.” I’ll bet you won’t.

But if your attitude says, “This seems a bit challenging, but I sure would do my best and try.” Chances are you’re on your way to success.

Now, I’m throwing the questions back at you:

• What is your dream life?
• How are you achieving / going to achieve it?

I’d sure love to learn from your experiences.

“Ma’am, artista po ba kayo? (Ma’am are you an actress?)”

The cab driver asked after I told him I was bound for the TV network building.

“Hindi po, dun po ako nagtatrabaho. (No, I just work there.)”

Then he said I looked like this popular actress who is now making waves on primetime TV.

I told the cab driver he should wear some corrective glasses but deep inside I was glowing with appreciation.

Who doesn’t like a good compliment right?

Whether he meant it or not, the cab driver’s compliment really made my day.

Giving a compliment is probably one of the most inexpensive yet most powerful way to brighten up someone’s day.

Compliments make us feel appreciated: a feeling that I think everyone needs.

I remember one of our college professors who liked to call his students by Hollywood celebrity names.

He called me Catherine Zeta Jones.

I don’t remember a single lesson he taught us in class, but I do remember how happy I felt every time he called me Catherine Zeta Jones.

He made me feel beautiful.

And that’s one important thing I remind myself whenever I deal with others:

People may not remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Be generous with compliments whenever you can. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. You will score some good points for your heart and you’ ll make someone else feel appreciated too.

And what do you do when you receive a compliment?

I’m still trying to learn this but this is the only way you should receive one.

Accept it. Wholeheartedly.

Then say “Thank you.”

And no, saying “Thank you” for a compliment doesn’t make you proud or assuming.

The compliment was given freely and you are just as free to receive it.

Bask in the glowing feelings it gives you.

Then share the compliment love with someone else.

Pass on the floating-in-cloud-nine goodness.

Remember to focus more on giving compliments and finding the good in people.

You’ll be a much better person because of it.