My morning ritual

February 9, 2010 | Category: Daily life lessons | Leave a Comment

morningritual

Meditate.
Visualize.
Journal.
Thank God.

For the past days, I’ve been practicing this daily morning ritual beginning at 4am. It’s great how I am able to overcome the challenge of waking up early and I’m getting more disciplined about it day after day.

I am growing to love meditating. It brings me an incredible sense of peace. It’s so priceless. Now I understand why it’s so beneficial to do it so early in the morning. My body is calm and my mind is receptive since I’ve just woken up. My surroundings are quiet except for the rhythmic whirring of the fan and the occasional stirrings of my darling babies.

I still need some practice in visualizing but I’m getting better at it. It feels so good to see and experience the things in my vision journal and it reinforces my belief that big dreams do come true.

Writing in my gratitude journal will always be part of my morning ritual. It always makes me happy to feel and realize that I am so blessed in so many ways. As I told some young ones during my talk a few nights ago, always be grateful and you’ll be happy every day of your life.

The wonderful thing about having this morning ritual is it sets the tone for my day and everything goes right.

What’s your morning ritual?

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Words that bless

February 5, 2010 | Category: Writing | Leave a Comment

burningwords

I watched as the flames devoured every word, every page and every inch of my pink journal.

Seeing it turn into ash felt liberating.

Thank God, I was finally free.

I have loved writing in journals all my life.

It felt good to have some form of release, a way to make sense of my thoughts and emotions.

And although it seemed right to record everything I thought and felt, I realized I was doing it wrong all along.

Words are powerful.

Very powerful.

Writing about your past and your imagined future does not serve you.

When you put all your negativity, pain and bitterness into words, you are only creating even more of it.

If there’s one thing I learned for sure, it is this:

If I’m going to put anything into words, it will always begin with THANK YOU.

If I’m writing about my life, I will only tell the story of the wonderful life that I want to create. And thank God for it.

I consider each entry as my prayer to Him. I thank Him for all the blessings He gives me and the blessings He has yet to give.

I’m still amazed how everything I write becomes my reality.

I’m still using a pink journal but I now write words that bless me.

How do you write?

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Gratitude Christmas

December 25, 2009 | Category: Inspiration | 2 Comments

Have you ever been filled with so much joy that you feel like you’re overflowing?

I wake up with a smile on my face saying, “Thank you God for this wonderful day!”

I look at my loving husband and my beautiful daughters and I am so happy because God has blessed me so much.

I feel at peace with myself and with everyone in my life.

I see beauty and miracle in everything around me.

What has changed?

One thing I know for sure: it’s an amazing feeling when we are filled with so much gratitude in our lives.

Gratitude transforms you. It lifts you up. It blesses you in so many ways beyond your imagination.

Life takes on a whole new meaning and rises above a whole new level when you are always thankful. It’s like celebrating Christmas everyday.

I have received so many gifts that have put a smile on my face. But the best gift I will always be thankful for, the gift I will always treasure beyond compare is my family.

They are God’s love in human form.

This Christmas, let us be thankful because God has already given us the greatest gift He could ever give: the perfection of his love, Jesus.

Nativity
Photo by: Barandalla

Everything else you received today is just a bonus.

Amid all the festivities, take a moment to pray and remember to greet Him a happy birthday.

Happy holidays everyone!

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Start your day with love

8 o’ clock.

I glanced at the time and silently computed how fast I needed to move if I wanted to make it to work at 9 a.m. Not very much, I thought.

Until I suddenly realized, it’s a Sunday today. I sighed in relief and relaxed a little bit.

“It’s okay, you can go back to sleep. The bed looks so inviting…” That’s the lazy part of me talking.

“This is just the right time to get up. Church starts at 11 and you need at least two hours to get the kids ready.” Of course, that’s the more sensible me.

I was tempted for a moment to justify my laziness thinking weekends are the only days I get to sleep in. I even thought I could skip Church today. One day wouldn’t hurt, right?

But then I remembered how I’ve been waking up tired and sluggish for the past days, always dragging myself from place to place.

When I look back, I can always trace those blah and tired days to mornings like this: giving in to laziness and gobbling on more sleep.

“You can make this day different, you know. You can make it great!”

I got up from the bed and scooped my pink journal out of my bag.

Then I started writing…

“Thank you, God….”

I filled up three whole pages for my gratitude journal and I felt energized instantly.

I took out my vision journal and reviewed my life goals and dreams. I felt on track immediately.

I read my abundance affirmations out loud and finished with a prayer. I felt blessed simultaneously.

Two hours later, I was at the church service with Jamaine and Kalia thanking and praising God for blessing me with motivation and inspiration to start my day right.

Just imagine how much of a difference it would make if I started every single day like this? I would go from blah to good to great.

Do you want to have a great day?

Say thank you the moment you wake up. The fact that you opened your eyes and you’re alive means God is blessing you today.

Take time to remember the things you are grateful for and thank God for all of them. I assure you, it would instantly make you feel better about your life and blessed beyond words.

Review your dreams and goals. Imagine them, write them down or say them out loud. Doing this will help you to act on purpose, remembering that everything you do should be aligned with your goals and every step you take should help make your dreams come true.

Days pass by so swiftly. Years end before we even know it. Every day that passes is a valuable part of your life, you owe it to yourself to make it great.

Photo: ifatma

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Reuniting with my muse

December 10, 2009 | Category: Writing | Leave a Comment

innerwonderland

I have been battling a severe case of writer’s block for weeks now. I’ve been staring at blank screens waiting, then forcing inspiration to come out of me. But nothing comes out. I felt like I lost my muse and wondered where she had gone.

And now I’ve found her.

She’s been with me all this time, waiting for me to come to that inner wonderland where all my ideas and inspiration arise.

I was the one who was lost all along.

Getting lost

It all started weeks ago after one of the pieces I wrote got “severely edited.” At least for my standards, it was.

I was passionate about that piece and I thought I wrote it so well. When it came back to me all cut up and mixed with words and ideas that were not my own, I felt like my muse disappeared taking all the inspiration I had in me.

So when the next assignment came along, I couldn’t write. It was a relatively simple piece that needed very little inspiration to begin with, but whenever I tried to type something, I still ended up with a blank screen.

Truth: I was afraid to get cut up again.

First there was pride. I’ve fallen in love with my writing too much, I convinced myself that I was a perfect writer. And perfect writers don’t get edited like that.

Then came insecurity. Am I such a bad writer?

Desperate to write, I went looking for my muse, trying to grasp at sparks of inspiration when I could. But I couldn’t find her and the glints of inspiration faded too soon.

I forced myself to write methodically, looking at other people’s works and copying how they string their words. I did manage to finish a piece. But in the end, I knew it was missing “me.”

Finding my muse again

And then I surrendered.

There’s something amazing about surrendering. Because when you finally give up, that’s when things start to work out.

I surrendered my pride as well as my insecurity.

The moment I did, my vision began to clear. And I saw the signs leading me to the place where my muse was waiting.

I was going through my feed reader when I spotted this article about hooking your audience. It had links to blog posts by author Steven Pressfield which absolutely hooked him.

I clicked links and started reading Mr. Pressfield’s post “Write what you don’t know.” It may just as well have been titled “Write when you can’t” because it was his ideas that got me writing this post at past 4 in the morning.

Here are some of his insights that really hit me:

The part of us that we write from is far deeper than our everyday selves. In fact it has nothing whatsoever to do with our everyday selves. It comes from the Muse. It comes from the unconscious. It comes from some place we only tap into in dreams or intuition or inspiration.

It takes a little madness to write what you don’t know. It’s like leaping into the deep end. But it’s also tremendously liberating. I’m reading a wonderful book now called Improv Wisdom by Patricia Ryan Madson, who for years was one of the star teachers of drama at Stanford. Her thesis is “Don’t prepare, just show up.” In other words, trust in the mystery. Open your mouth and see what comes out. I’ve heard Jackson Browne say that he writes songs to find out what he thinks about something. In other words, he doesn’t know going in.

There’s stuff “down there” in all of us. It’s vast and deep and limitless. That’s the vein we need to mine as artists and as entrepreneurs. I’ve heard start-up businessmen say the two qualities they needed most in their initial ventures were arrogance and ignorance. You gotta be a little crazy (or desperate) to write or do what you don’t know. But there’s great wisdom and magic in that act. It demonstrates faith in the universe, in the Muse, in the source of all inspiration. And that faith, almost invariably, is rewarded by the cosmos and vindicated by events. I recommend it.

After reading that, I just know I won’t be able to sleep anyway if I don’t write this. So I did. And it feels so good.

I am so fired up again and the sparks have turned into flames of inspiration inside me. I have reunited with my Muse and I intend to be one with her from now on.

***
Are you feeling uninspired or stuck lately? Find your inner wonderland and reunite with your muse. She’s just there waiting for you.

Have you gotten over writer’s block? What did you do?

Photo: john

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Love believes the best

December 5, 2009 | Category: Love | Leave a Comment

love believes the best

Do you remember how you and you husband were like when you were still just lovers? When people would criticize him or say bad things about him, you immediately come to his defense with a litany of all things good and honorable about him.

The truth is you could both be right. You’re looking at the same person with different perspectives.

But your perspective is that of love.

Some people say that love covers all flaws. But I’d like to put it this way:

Love chooses to focus on the best and celebrate goodness.

Loving someone doesn’t mean you turn completely blind to his faults. What it does mean is you act and react with more understanding and compassion.

You separate the attitude from the person and you help however you can to help him deal with his imperfections.

What do I love about my dear Kernie?

  1. He’s very understanding of my quirks and my occasional weirdness.
  2. He’s patient. Very, very patient.
  3. He’s thoughtful. He remembers the things I love and surprises me with little gifts that make my heart jump.
  4. He’s considerate. He always checks how I am and if he could, he would make things easier for me.
  5. He’s encouraging. He always knows the right words to say when I feel down.
  6. He’s supportive. No matter what I venture into, he’s always right behind me cheering me on.
  7. He’s funny. He’s corny most of the time, but he makes me laugh
  8. He’s affectionate. He always showers me with hugs and kisses.
  9. He’s hardworking. Sometimes more than I’d like because he stretches himself too thin. But that’s his nature.
  10. He’s responsible. The best father in our world.

But more than all these, he  loves me unconditionally. He accepts me for all that I am and brings out the best in me.

Photo: bitzi

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Love is not irritable

November 1, 2009 | Category: Love | Leave a Comment

Yosemite Reflections #1

How does this photo make you feel?

I love looking at images of calm waters and beautiful landscapes. No matter where I am, I feel like I’m instantly transported to heaven.

When I feel the impending onslaught of impatience, I close my eyes and retreat to these beautiful scenes in my mind. It helps me to be peaceful and to focus on the most positive way to deal with trying situations and even small irritations.

While there are moments when marriage feels like a fantastic fairytale, there are also times when it can feel like an exasperating experience.

When things are less than perfect, when situations don’t turn out your way, when your partner behaves in a disagreeable manner, it’s easy to fall into the impulsive trap of overreacting.

How many times have you snapped at your hubby because of some itty bitty irritation?

I know I have a couple of times. And when I think about it, it would have done me a lot of good if I had only stopped for a moment before I reacted.

Irritation happens when we give in to the negative emotions of the moment. We let our impulsive emotions rule us .

We also get easily irritated when have negative thoughts. When we lose something, one of the immediate thoughts that come to mind would be “someone must have taken it.”

But when we act from a place of love, we can react differently.

Love chooses to pause, to be calm and to think of how to respond in the most loving way even during the most irritating or anger – inducing situations.

It takes conscious effort to remember that you are dealing with a lovable person who occasionally does unlovable things.

When you are confronted by challenging situations, the old adage is always a good guide to follow:

Think before you act

More than that, always ask yourself this very important question:

How do I respond in the most loving way?

This can be quite tough at first but constant practice can enable you to react calmly naturally.

“Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive… When under pressure, love doesn’t turn sour. Minor problems don’t yield major reactions.”

I have been going through this love journey on and off for the past months. And though it can be really challenging some times, I believe every hurdle I overcome makes me a better person every time.

I am continuing this journey one day at a time and it’s a very enriching experience.

Learning to love, really love is one of the most worthwhile things there is about life.

Photo by: Patrick Smith

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Love is not rude

October 30, 2009 | Category: Love | Leave a Comment

I swept one last look around the bathroom before heading for the door.

Clear drainage: check.

Bubble – free tiles: check.

All dirty clothes in the laundry basket: check.

I took another look at the shower caddy and made sure every soap and shampoo bottle was in its rightful place.

Am I being neat freak? Not really.

Though I love a clean bathroom, I run through this routine checking carefully more because I love my hubby — it is one way I show him respect.

respect

Let’s admit it: it becomes so easy to act sloppy when we’re so comfortable with each other. We’re confident that our partner’s unconditional love can cover all sorts of shortcomings and weaknesses including bad habits and lack of manners.

Sometimes, or maybe even most of the time, we are more conscious about how we act in public than we do in private. We’ve developed this double standard that we must always be well – mannered around other people but it’s okay to be rude when we’re around our spouse.

And I’m not just talking about rude with the words we say or don’t say, like saying “stupid” or not saying “please, thank you.”

We can be rude in other ways like leaving trash lying around, messing up clothes in the closet or worse,  passing gas around your spouse. These might seem like little things but small irritations add up and can snowball into a huge argument.

Just imagine, if you had to live with royalty or some Hollywood celebrity, would you be more careful with how you act around your home? I suppose you would because it would be embarrassing to act sloppy around these special guests.

But could anyone be more special than your spouse?

The bottom line is that genuine love minds its manners…When you allow love to change your behavior — even in the smallest of ways — you restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship.

It’s all about conscious living and loving.

When you act from a place of love,  respect comes naturally.

Photo: a.andres

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Love is thoughtful

August 15, 2009 | Category: Love | 1 Comment

loveisthoughtful

I can’t stop thinking about you!

Didn’t you always say this when you were so young and in love?

Days are spent daydreaming about the object of your affection. Nights are spent wishing you can pull the hours so you can be with each other again.

When you get married, the first years have you feeling so “in love.”

You are loving, kind, patient and thoughtful to your spouse because you are “in love.”

As the years pass, you become more secure with each other.

Security can be a good thing because it assures you of that loving feeling you know you will have every day.

But the bad thing is it can cause you to become complacent.

You tend to become “thoughtless.”

You forget to be loving.

You shuffle through the days unconsciously, letting opportunities to express love pass you by.

Soon enough, thoughtless becomes careless.

You become insensitive and selfish.

You are thoughtful — of yourself.

By this time, the thrill has been replaced by familiarity and not long after, you find yourself falling “out of love.”

That’s the thing about being “in love,” it’s a fantasy feeling that fades away. And when it does, there has to be something more real and more lasting to take its place.

That is REAL LOVE.

And it’s something I’ve been trying to learn and practice everyday.

When you really love, you never stop thinking about your spouse.

You constantly think about the one you love.

You always reflect about what he needs.

You always consider how he feels.

In everything you say and do, you think about how you can show that you love him more.

During difficult times, being thoughtful means keeping silent and still, when you know that anger can cause you to say or do something that can hurt the one you love.

You strive to regain that loving feeling before your speak or act again because:

The thoughtful nature of love teaches you to engage your mind before engaging your lips. Love thinks before speaking. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.

I’ve been learning how to demonstrate love more than to say it.

Because by doing it, I understand completely what it means.

***

Love is always a choice.

And I choose to love you…

Every moment of every day for the rest of my life.

Photo by: flouak

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“Love is not selfish”

July 28, 2009 | Category: Love | Leave a Comment

Selfishness is the root of all heartache.

I should know.

I used to be selfish.

Sometimes, I still am.

How about you?

Me, myself and I

I used to think that after I’ve given everything I got then it was just right that I take my turn to get.

I thought…

I want to do things that make ME happy.

I want to do things for MYSELF.

I want to do whatever I want.

It was all ME, MYSELF and I.

In the end, I realized selfishness can never be justified because true love is never selfish.

YES

True love always gives.

True love never computes how much has been given or received in return.

When you truly love, generosity comes naturally and freely.

One of the most important shifts I’ve made in my understanding of love and relationships was sparked by these quotes from Love Dare:

True love looks for ways to say YES.

You say NO to what you WANT, so you can say YES to what (your spouse) NEEDS.

Recently, my selfishness was tested once again.

I wanted to stand my ground thinking that I didn’t owe anything to anybody.

My ego was screaming “NO!!!”

But by God’s grace, I learned to humble myself.

And like a gentle reminder from Him, I found myself repeating that quote over and over:

True love looks for ways to say yes.

I honored a very tough request that I knew was important to the one I loved.

I got rejected in return but I let the hurt go.

I know God touches hearts way more powerfully than anyone ever could.

He likes working in miracles like that.

Just as He works miracles to heal my selfish heart and to make it more loving.

***

This is supposed to be a 40-day journey to love but the lessons are more challenging than I thought.

It takes me more than a day to fully “understand” the lessons I am learning and a couple more days to really practice it.

But I find that it has added a much deeper meaning to my life.

If you ever feel like you’re lost and you need a sense of direction, take on this worthy challenge:

Learn to live love.

Photo: peterastn

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